Monday, September 14, 2009

Bad Dog

This is a bad dog.

Just today, at lunch, I made a luscious grilled deli meat and cheese sandwich for Middle Son and placed it, piping hot, on his lunch plate. At that moment, Middle Son chose to dart off and attend to some pressing distraction. And also at that moment, this Bad Dog "seized the day" and seized the sandwich. It makes me VERY MAD when animals of the household steal human food. Very, very mad.

I know this is startling, but you'll have to forgive me if a tiny piece of me wished that Bad Dog burnt his tongue on the hot cheese.

I made another sandwich. Middle Son ate half of the sandwich. Middle Son chose to dart off and attend to some pressing distraction. Bad Dog seized half of the second sandwich, gobbled it down in one swallow and actually grinned . . . grinned at me!

Middle Son, still hungry, pulled a large, delicious dish of leftover mashed potatoes out of the refrigerator, set them on the counter and warmed up a full plateful. Middle Son left the potatoes out on the counter. Middle Son chose to dart off and attend to some pressing distraction. Bad Dog sauntered cavalierly into the kitchen, put his two naughty paws up on the counter, stuck his furry head down into that bowl and went to town.

When I discovered him, there was a quarter cup of potatoes left in one corner of the dish, and buttery mashed potatoes rimmed his smirking mouth and extended up to the corners of his ears.

Bad Dog . . . bad, bad dog!

I'm ready to banish him to the outside. I'm ready to call the pound. I'm ready to attach him to the mailbox with a large "Free Dog" sign on his chest.

But then . . . !

But then I find him playing "fort" with Youngest Son.

And I find Middle Son and Bad Dog curled up cozily on blankets on the living room floor, heads resting on pillows (yes, my decorator couch pillows), covered by a red throw (yes, my Martha Stewart red throw with pompons ::sigh::).

And the old buzzard lets Youngest Daughter lie right on top of him and pull on his ears and inspect his calloused "elbows" without a complaint.

And somehow I just can't do it. I just can't send him off to doggy jail. I just can't banish him forever and ever to the cruel, cold out-of-doors. And goodness, if I don't even find myself forgiving him and loving the old fellow all over again.


  1. How do they DO that?! Get under your skin like that and then be so adorably great. Grrr.

    Have a little pest over here who has been driving me right up the wall...but now, as I write this, he's scooted up to my arm as close as he can get.

    The pictures are so adorable.

  2. Oh Shelley. I'm sorry to sound like a broken record, but you make my day every time you write a post! This story is a riot. What an adorable doggie.

    Our lab pup who is now 9 months old has pushed me to the edge with her naughtiness more times than I can begin to count. But just like you wrote, it isn't long and you are reminded all over again about their redeeming side. Great post!

  3. dear lord what a funny post! i'm shaking my head and grinning like a dork! loved it! (hugs) Sami Jo

  4. This sure was the dogs day for getting into trouble -- hopefully he is not like that everyday : )He does look so cute with each of the kids that I can see why you just have to forgive him again -- and again -- and again. Just a thought -- maybe you could get one of those dome shaped covers that are for covering food at a picnic for him to use when he gets distracted and leaves the table -- but then he would have to remember to put it over the food before he ran off -- hmmm- not sure that would work : )

  5. So funny. Stinkin' dogs. Today our Magnus peed on our giant bean bag - twice.
    But then Piper sits on his back. Yeah, I get it!!


  6. ha ha what an adorable baby (doggie) you have....he knows his place....only too well...tee hee :)

  7. What a face! That would be hard to stay mad at. He does redeem himself with those pictures.
    I know what you mean. Dogs add so much personality to our homes, but boy when they decide to be naughty it can be so annoying.

    That's why I have a short dog so she can't reach my counter tops. ;) If a chair is left pulled out from the table she has jumped on the kitchen table before. Where there's a will there's a way I guess.


  8. Hi Shelley! Long time no "see." :) I love this post. Your bad dog is too cute! Try hard as you may, I think he has you twisted around his little paw. He's a cutie pie. How old is he?

  9. oh but he is soooo cute look at his little doggy eyes and he's such a good play mate too!!! my cat is a bad cat she brings home half alive meals which i have to scrabble round the bathroom to get, and catches my wool, always tries to sit on me when im crocheting, and now she is snoring louder than my husband!! he he!!

  10. Cute post! I am glad that he got in your good graces. :)

  11. no way is that a Bad Dog :) why, he is the Most Un-Bad Dog I believe I've ever seen :)

  12. He might have just slipped up and been the Bad Dog for a moment - from those other pictures he looks like a Great Dog! I love our dog, too. She can be so awful, but then she will do something that just melts my heart.