Friday, October 9, 2009

A Note to My Dinner Guests

To My Dinner Guests:

I know you live in a calm and peaceful home. I know you were alarmed when havoc broke out while we were cheerfully discussing family history around the dinner table.

I know the two of you do not ever over stuff a toilet with toilet paper. I know you were surprised to find that not only can our toilets be stuffed with toilet paper, they can also overflow for quite a long period without anyone in the household being aware of such.

I know your dinner conversations usually revolve around traveling to interesting places, home renovations, and orderly schedules. I know you do not generally have someone say, "Is it raining?" while sitting at the dinner table and then walk into the kitchen to find raw sewage dripping down into the kitchen . . . and the hallway . . . and through light fixtures.

I know if you were ever to have a flooding toilet disaster you would sensibly reach for dishpans, buckets, and plastic storage bins. I know you would not reach for pasta pots, large salad bowls, stir fry pans, or mixing bowls.

I know you were probably alarmed to see me do exactly that . . . to catch the mess . . . cascading down . . . into my kitchen.

So, lest you refuse to ever come over again, I must tell you.

My nice beach towels have been laundered on hot with extra detergent. The wood floor has been disinfected. And every one of my pans, pots and large bowls have been thoroughly washed in soapy water and bleach.

You wouldn't let a little thing like this scare you away . . . right??


  1. This sounds like a dinner party at our house. Uh-oh!

    But I hope while you were cleaning it up you were forming this hilarious post in your head.

    Because it made me laugh!! (After feeling your pain, of course!)

  2. Oh my! Sounds like quite a night! Super funny!

  3. I chuckled as I read your story -- I know it was not fun as it was happening, but you were able to write about it with such humor : ) Will your dinner guests read your blog? Hope your next dinner party is uneventful.

  4. OH NO! I'm so sorry.
    Our plumbing backed up when we had overnight guest one time. (Realized there was a root growing thru our sewage line later.)
    Raw sewage was oozing from the shower drain, under the toilets - (yes under - weird) and it was midnight. A very nice plumber came out and released the clog to get us thru the night. We were up till 2a.m. with him. All while the guest slept upstairs.
    Thankfully it was contained to the ground floor and did not leak in the 2nd story.
    I feel so bad for you. That is everyone's worst nightmare.


  5. Oh Shelley you poor does happen to others though...does that feel better...maybe not quite so...ours was in our backyard..quite different...but hey you tell the story well made me laugh...sorry...happy sunday...come on over and join my swap..why not:)

  6. Oh, how horrible! Bless your heart for being able to find the humor in it all. I'm so sorry this happened. I can only imagine the hours of work involved in the clean-up efforts. Uggh.