Just Him

Youngest Son.

Dreamer, thinker, creator.

Quiet, non-demanding, compliant.

Sensitive. So very sensitive.

The other day as I was slaving away working hard on the upcoming soccer season, making spreadsheets, organizing fundraisers, sending e-mails, I felt a soft hand on my arm.

"Mom, I feel like I haven't seen you lately. We haven't spent any time together."

You know all the feelings, thoughts, justifications that came swirling up in my mind.

I'm in this house 24/7, I make all your meals, wash all your clothes, clean up the messes, answer all the questions, console all the hurts. {blah, blah, blah}

But inside I knew the translation of his words.

"Mom, you've been here but we haven't been connecting. I need you to be part of my world, to notice me and be engaged."

And he was right.

So we planned right then for the coming Monday to be just our day. All the other kids would be gone for the day (wow, thank you, God!).

And then I praised him. I praised him for speaking up, for communicating, for letting me know what he needed.

I think that's one of the biggest gifts we can give these quiet, sensitive, undemanding types . . . the gift of teaching them to speak up, to expect to be heard, and then listening to them, really hearing them, seeing life through their eyes, whether we see it quite the same or not, and then acting on that knowledge.

And so, on Monday we read Hardy Boys together and Joe got dog fangs in his leg and Chet got knocked out cold.

And we played "our game" and we plowed and endured a blight of Japanese beetles and sold our crop for too little.

And he showed me his Lego creations. And I sat there and concentrated (or really, really tried) as he explained every . intricate . detail. And I reminded myself to be in the moment and that this was sacrificial love and that even intricate-Lego-detail-description can't last forever. Right??!

And I even snuggled down on the soft blue couch all wrapped up in a blanket with him and watched an episode of "Phineas and Ferb" and fell asleep . . . because I was all snuggly and warm and tired.

And he didn't mind because I was connecting and I was engaging and I was trying to love his world.

And that's really all he wanted.